Week 3 Recap - Updated Sheets

Week 3 saw a leveling of the playing field, as the two teams who had yet to grasp victory absolutely

seized it. And amidst a sea of 1-2’s and 2-1’s a single 3-0 team has emerged.

Let’s break down Week 3 in the LaQuon Treadwell Memorial Leauge.  WEEK 3 RECAP:

Outdated Sheets (1-2) def. Knobby Packers (2-1)

188.14 - 168.02

Outdated Sheets broke out of their rut in grand fashion, posting the high score of the week and the young season. They would need nearly all of it to win their first game over the Knobby Packers. The schedule gods have been cruel so far this year: For the second time in three weeks, the top two scores happened to be matched up against each other. 

KNOB brought the week’s top performance at RB with Alvin Kamara (44.7) and D/ST with Indianapolis (27:pogchamp), but it was not enough to defeat a complete team effort by SHTS. 5 of the 7 skill players on SHTS posted at least 20 points, with Josh Allen (31.2) leading the charge on his dick-dropping tour. When asked what he did to inspire his team, owner Zach Pauras said, “I didn’t want to start the season like the vikings so I told the team if we won this week everyone was getting Dilly Bars from DQ.”

Team Grimm (2-1) def. Respect the Specs (1-2) 

136.78 - 107.18

Team Grimm improves to 2-1 on the backs of two 30+ point RB performances. This, despite the injury bug continuing to nag, as GRIM TE Dallas Geoddart had a 1st Quarter exit. For GOGS, it was a subdued performance as last week’s fantasy hydra, JuTyvin Riddlebee, could not repeat the magic of Week 2, and FLEX Dionte Johnson was lost early to a concussion. Newly freed RB Nick Chubb ended up posting the high water mark for the team at 24 points. Perhaps last week’s benching was merely a motivational tactic. 

When Does Hockey Start (1-2) def. Hostert with the Mostert (1-2)

166.3 - 118.9

Owner Dan Bell returns from the Pro Disc-Golf Tour to lead WILD to their first victory in a near-50 point spanking of Hostert with the Mostert. Sources say owner Evan Wilberg spent an inordinate amount of his Saturday sweating his FLEX selection, and despite a team-leading performance by Michael Gallup, it proved completely meaningless. Tyler Lockett dominated with 3TD’s and 100 Yards, and Patrick Mahomes did as Patrick Mahomes does, spearheading WILD’s impressive week. Bell’s return coincided with the return of WR Kenny Golladay, which would cause a lesser reporter to speculate that last week’s injury may have really been frisbee-related.

Too Many Cooks (3-0) def. 3 Pete (1-2)

150.8 - 120.9

While there are no more winless teams in the LaQuon Treadwell Memorial League, there is only one lossless one. Too Many Cooks improves to 3-0 and takes sole possession of first place in the league (yessss, let the jinx flow through you…). FLEX pick Keenan Allen showed up hard with a 30 point day. Russell Wilson also put up great numbers, solidifying his standing as the top QB in the LTML. On the flip-side, 3 Pete attempted to find a spark at QB by replacing Tom Brady with Gardner Minshew. Unfortunately, Minshew’s play could not match the superiority of his facial hair. The 27.6 spread between Minshew and Wilson was very nearly the entire difference in the week’s matchup. Regardless, I am a fan 3 Pete’s acquisition. Minshew is a tragically overlooked figure, and if you don’t believe me you should look up his post-game interview last week where he revealed he was not included in the team’s TD cellies.

With the recaps in the books, it's time for...

Sometimes we don’t choose the Oofs, but rather the Oofs choose us. Such is the case this week as it goes to the Knobby Packers for out-scoring every team in the league… except the one that they were facing. This is the 2nd time in 3 weeks a team has been screwed by the schedule gods. This seemed highly unlikely, so I hired an analytics firm to calculate the exact odds of this taking place. They told me this kind of thing occurs only 4.2069% of the time. We are truly blessed.  

WEEK 4 MATCHUPS:

Team Grimm (2-1) vs. Hostert with the Mostert (1-2)

Outdated Sheets (1-2) vs. 3 Pete (1-2)

Knobby Packers (2-1) vs. Too Many Cooks (3-0)

Respect the Specs (1-2) vs. When Does Hockey Start (1-2)

League News:

One more reminder that if you haven’t yet paid your $20 entry fee, please send it via Venmo: @EvanWilberg. We’ve got almost everyone. ***In light of the recent positive COVID-19 tests for Tennessee, I wanted to remind everyone that entry fees will be returned if the season is called off early.

Best of luck to all teams this week. The commish wanted me to mention that he will be taking any action on the MLB postseason. Unless the Twins are swept in the first round, in which case he’s gonna need some time.