Week 4 Recap - Stonks and PPD's

As the NFL deals with its first COVID positives, the managers of the LQML were forced into action, dealing with game delays and surprise Peter Dagers. Some guarded against the future uncertainty with sound personal finance advice, others settled with savvy pickups on the waiver wire. Let’s see which team’s stonks are on the rise coming off of Week 4. WEEK 4 RECAP:

Knobby Packers (3-1) def. Too Many Cooks (3-1)

190.18 - 158.8

    For the second week in a row, Alex St. Peter’s Knobby Packers were engaged in an absolute slugfest with their opponents. Last week it ended in disappointment and bitter oof-dom. This week, however, the result was sweet, sweet victory. KNOB put up the week’s top score and handed Too Many Cooks their first loss of the year. Despite the final margin of 30 points, it was far from an anxiety-free victory for St. Peter. “Currently projected to have the 2nd highest score this week and lose. Again.” St. Peter said after the afternoon games, clearly feeling the effects of  PTOOTWD (Post-Traumatic Oof of the Week Disorder). Luckily for St. Peter, George Kittle heard his lamentations and responded with a 40 point effort Sunday night, setting Aaron Rodgers and Aaron Jones up for a 20 point layup on Monday to seal the victory.
    
    It would not be a surprise if this matchup turned out to be a preview of the championship. KNOB has the look of a powerhouse in the league this year. Not only did their starters almost break 200 points, but their bench had all but two players score in the double-digits. Meanwhile, Too Many Cooks was the only undefeated team heading into this week, and it took George Kittle coming out as God to end that. When you can have Odell Beckham Jr. hanging 38 points on your bench and still come out with the 2nd best score of the week, you’re in a good place. Most crucially, the stars for both teams have remained healthy (knock on wood for Chris Carson). If that remains true, so will their status as frontrunners.

    P.S. This marks the third time in four weeks, the top two scores of the week happened to be matched up. I’ll stop bringing it up when it stops being interesting.

Team Grimm (3-1) def. Hostert with the Mostert (1-3)

120.78 - 110.32

    Team Grimm joins the above teams in the 3-win club, as they knab a victory over Hostert with the Mostert. GRIM overcame an early injury to Austin Ekeler, their 2nd injury to a key RB in recent weeks. This injury, and great performances by Mark Andrews and Terry McLaurin, gave HOST an early advantage. The tides changed when Dak Prescott tried to will his NFL team, the Dallas McCarthies, to victory. He put up 500+ yards and 4 TD’s, bringing himself and top WR Amari Cooper to over 70 combined fantasy points. While it wasn’t enough to save the McCarthies, it would do it for Team Grimm.

After riding high with the top score in Week 1, HOST has gone on a 3 game skid. There is a potential for a bounceback with the return of key starters like Davante Adams and the all-important-yet-boyardee-bloated Raheem Mostert, but will it be enough to salvage the new brand? Initial reports have revealed that team merchandise, such as face masks bearing “HOST” on them, haven’t been selling.

Outdated Sheets (2-2) def. 3 Pete (1-3)

140.72 - 98.64

Outdated Sheets followed up their first victory last week with another refreshing performance. “Joe ‘Jesus Christ’ Mixon apparently decided to play this week.” said SHTS owner Zach Pauras. And play he did, posting the week’s top performance at 42.1. This score made up for Derrell Henderson Jr.’s underwhelming showing, but beyond that SHTS had good performances by most starters.

3 Pete had a frustrating week by all accounts. They saw almost every 2nd string player on the bench hit this week. The 5 player bench put up 90.8 points vs. 98.64 from the starters. The thing is, there are few substitutions that would have made up the difference by virtue of the fact that an opposing RB put up a score that starts with 4 and isn’t followed by a decimal. Both teams were also hit pretty heavily by the COVID Peter Dagers. 3P lost two typical starters in James Connor and Juju Smith-Schuster (to be faiiiiiiiiiiiir, SHTS lost RB1 Derrick Henry). Tom Brady also posted 30+ point week, easily outpacing Gardner Minshew for both weeks he’s been replaced, and… well... “!pain” said owner Kevin Duong, clarifying later with ,”!fork”. 

When Does Hockey Start (2-2) def. Respect the Specks (1-3)

112.84 - 95.52

     When Does Hockey Start won their second straight match, led by a bounceback performance from Melvin Gordon. This matchup featured a showdown between Cleveland’s two very productive RB’s in Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt, but that contest was cut short after Chubb’s early injury. Chubb looks to be out for about 6 weeks, a damaging blow to a roster that could really use some consistency from week-to-week. Fortunately for GOGS, they did gain what could be a major asset last week when they won the Justin Jefferson Waiver Wire Sweepstakes. Jefferson was the lone bright spot for the GOGS receiver corps and looks to be the type of first round receiver we won’t have to memorialize with a Fantasy League 5 years from now. Finally a little credit where it’s due, Rodrigo Blankenship has put forth a great start to his rookie campaign and is currently the 2nd best kicker in the league. GOGS’ namesake was the top scorer from the Colts last week, and one could argue he’s the most reliable performer besides Lamar Jackson for his fantasy team.

Now it's time for your weekly dose of schadenfreude with...

As covered above, Dak Prescott went bananas in a valiant attempt to give his team a shot at victory. 500 yards and 4TD’s is an awful lot of real-estate to distribute over one’s receiving corps. Amari Cooper earned the lion’s share en route to a 33-point showing, but after subtracting that you still have 368 yards and 3 TD’s to go around. CeeDee Lamb lit up the Knobby Packer’s bench with 25 points. Even Zeke got 17 of his points from the passing game. Surely, anyone who started a Dallas WR cashed in on Sunday, right? Well… anyone besides Hostert with the Mostert, whose owner Evan Wilberg started Michael Gallup in place of the injured Chris Godwin. On a day when Dak provided 500 yards, Gallup took exactly 29 of them on 2 receptions. He was outdone on the receiving game by all four other DAL WR’s, their TE, and their RB. With HOST losing to GRIM by 10 points, all it would have taken was a two or three catches to go Gallup’s way instead of Coopers for a different result. Alas, Gallup could not find his way out of Cooper’s shadow (or Lamb’s or Zeke’s or…*checks notes* Dalton Schultz’s), and HOST takes their 3rd straight L. That’s enough for the Oof of the Week.

WEEK 5 MATCHUPS:

Hostert with the Mostert (1-3) vs. Respect the Specks (1-3)

3 Pete (1-3) vs. Team Grimm (3-1)

Too Many Cooks (3-1) vs. Outdated Sheets (2-2)

When Does Hockey Start (2-2) vs. Knobby Packers (3-1)

League News: -Thank you to all league members for getting your entry fees in. -When (or if) we reach the halfway point of the NFL season, I may propose some contingency plans for payouts. An example would be if NFL season were cancelled during the first round of Fantasy playoffs, the entry fees could be split evenly among all teams in the Winner’s Bracket. -I will go into more details after the halfway point is reached. Payout changes will be made only with unanimous approval by all league owners.

Best of luck in Week 5!