Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Week 9 Recap - Back from the Dead & Iron Cook

 


Week 9 saw the return of some powerhouse players that had been biding their time on the bench. Christian McCaffrey, Michael Thomas, and Antonio Brown all saw their first full games of the season. Would these waking dragons be enough to make the difference for their teams? Let’s get to the recaps:


WEEK 9 RECAPS


Too Many Cooks (7-2) def. Hostert With The Mostert (4-5)

174.2 - 151.02


Too Many Cooks rests alone atop the league as they sautee Hostert With The Mostert with their second consecutive top score of the week. It was deja vu in a lot of ways for TMC: An impressive team-wide performance led by a monster game by Iron Chef Dalvin Cook over the 2nd highest score the league had to offer. Cook was 8 yards away from his second straight 40 point showing and is swiftly transcending from “Iron Chef” to “Meatball-Slinging Spice God”. Tyreek Hill joined the fun in the 30 point club. After being neck-and-neck with Knobby Packers all season, Too Many Cooks has earned itself a one game lead for the #1 seed as well as the Points For tiebreaker. If Dalvin doesn’t slow down, don’t expect TMC to either.


For HOST, it was a tough way to lose. Many of their skill players matched up blow-for-blow with their cooking counterparts, but even the near-busts were too much to overcome against an opponent this stacked. To be the best, you gotta beat the best. The good news is that Davante Adams is almost playing at Dalvin Cook levels, and Kyler Murray has been improving from great to elite all year. The bad news is that HOST is now on the outside looking in for the playoff picture. With just 4 games remaining, the margin of error is razor sharp.


Team Grimm (6-3) def. Knobby Packers (6-3)

132.46 - 101.6


When No 1 overall pick Christian McCaffrey went down in Week 1 with a high ankle sprain, it didn’t take a reporter of my illustrious caliber to point out that is was bad times for Team Grimm. It was an 8 week recovery timeline with an injury that is notorious for lingering effects. With a loss of a player that dynamic, GRIM’s best case outlook at the time was to hang tight around .500 and make a run when your star returned. AND THEN they lost Austin Eckler, then Julio Jones for a time, then Dak Prescott forever. With all that, it’d be the most expectable thing in the world for them to drop off a cliff. But GRIM did not. Quite the opposite, really. McCaffrey returned to a 5-3, 3rd place team and said, “I’ll take it from here, boys.” Run CMC dunked 37 points on division rival Knobby Packers, bringing his team their sixth victory and a tie for 2nd place in the league. Of course, shortly after doing this McCaffrey said, “Ow, my fucking shoulder!” and is now questionable for Week 10, but don’t let pesky things like reality get in the way of a good comeback story. The 6-3 record is plenty real, after all. 


We’re not used to seeing the Knobby Packers this close to double-digits. Even in their off weeks they manage to put up respectable numbers. The culprits were a dud performance from TE Tons-o-Funions filling in for the injured Mr. Skittles, and RB goose-egg partially due to injury report hijinks. They’ll look to write this one off like the Week 8 IRL Packers and bounce back against SHTS next week.



Outdated Sheets (5-4) def. Respect the Specks (2-7)

109.9 - 99.1


Outdated Sheets busts on through to the playoff picture as they dispatch Respect The Specks. Josh Allen returned to form in a big way. His 36 points doubled up every starter in the matchup besides Lamar Jackson. Michael Thomas kept his hands to himself long enough to return to the field for the first time since Week 1. This week his output was decidedly more pedestrian than McCaffrey’s, but he’ll be an X-Factor for SHTS down the stretch. 


Rampant injuries and byes this week led GOGS to utilize the rare 2 TE package. Although they got a rare boom out of Evan Engram, Gronk got shut down just like the rest of the Bucs on Sunday night. Nick Chubb was not yet ready to join to welcome back parade, but some reports have him coming back for Week 10. So GOGS has that going for them, which is nice.


I'd like to do something a little different and end the recap of this game with a poem:


D'Andre is Swift

Kirby is Smart

Now say HAPPY BIRTHDAY

to one KATIE HART!!!


3 Pete (4-5) def. When Does Hockey Start (2-7)

112.44 - 106.88


3 Pete claws their way to gritty victory over When Does Hockey Start and are now knocking at the door of the championship bracket. It seems every week, either DK Metcalf or Tyler Lockett are going to go off depending on who bought Russell Wilson the most Chipotle. This week, it was once again Mr. DK Metcalf. His and Justin Herbert’s performances headlined the 3P scoreboard this week.  After early season inconsistency at QB, Herbert has stabilized 3P at the key position and put them back in the race. This was the only game of the week that came down to Monday night, as 3P’s Raven’s superior D/ST provided the difference. 


WILD take another close loss on the chin due to an absent RB core. The QB/TE combo of Mahomes and Kelce continued to be reliable, but there weren’t enough booms from the supporting cast to outweigh the busts. Fun Fact, unless you’re owner Dan Bell, 5 of WILD’s 7 losses have been by 10 points or less. Another was by 10.8. They are 4th overall in Points For, 3rd in Points Against. And all it gets them is a 2-7 record. Feels bad man.


Recaps complete. Time to move on to...


This week’s OOTW is brought to you by vague journalism. On Thursday afternoon, 3 hours before game time, KNOB RB Aaron Jones was still listed as questionable with a calf injury. Then came a report by Adam Schefter that a decision on Jones was going to come down to the wire, and that if he did play, the Packers were going to be “careful” with him. KNOB owner Alex St. Peter faced a choice given this new intel. Would he be careful as well and replace his RB1 with a backup that was more likely to play, or he could cross his fingers and ride with his starter. St. Peter chose caution and replaced Jones with the Charger’s Justin Jackson. Come game time, Jones did play and posted a decent 12.9 from the bench. Fast forward to Sunday, new KNOB starting RB Justin Jackson suits up, takes the field, and is promptly injured on the second snap of the game, resulting in the 0.0 after all that. Granted, Jones’ points would not have made up the difference in KNOB’s loss to GRIM, but the irony of the situation should be savored all the same.




We’re handing out a few awards with this today. First, to the WILD RB core of Melvin Gordon and David Montgomery who combined for less than 10 points. If either one had hit their projection, the WILD would have broken their losing streak. 


Also getting some attention here is GOGS TE Rob Gronkowski. It’s a little unfair to call him out since his BFF quarterback played like a poop tornado, but I selfishly wanted to see a team that had to start two tight ends pull off a victory.


WEEK 10 MATCHUPS


When Does Hockey Start (2-7) vs. Hostert With The Mostert (4-5)

Too Many Cooks (7-2) vs. 3 Pete (4-5)

Respect the Specks (2-7) vs. Team Grimm (6-3)

Knobby Packers (6-3) vs. Outdated Sheets (5-4)


League News


With 9 weeks in the books, and just 6 to go (including the playoffs), it looks like we might actually see this baby through to the end. Just in case you didn’t have any wood to hammer nearby after you read that last sentence, I wanted to float a contingency payoff plan in case the season ends before the fantasy championships.


What I propose is this: Your entry fee is locked in after your team is mathematically eliminated from the playoffs. If the season is cancelled early, any team that has not been eliminated will receive their fee back, plus an even split of the fees from the eliminated teams. Some examples of how this would play out:


  • It’s the last week of the regular season. 3 teams have been eliminated, 3 have clinched and 2 are fighting for the last slot. If the season gets cancelled that week, the 5 that haven’t been eliminated would get $32 each. Eliminated teams get $0.

  • If the season is cancelled in the first round of the playoffs, all 4 teams in the championship bracket would get $40.

  • If the season is cancelled on championship weekend, the finalists get $80 each.


The idea here is for winning teams to still get something for their efforts even if things go pear-shaped, but as I’ve said repeatedly, we’ll only implement this if everyone agrees. I’ll put a straw poll link up in the discord so you can anonymously vote yes or no. If you have any feedback or questions before you vote, please ask your friendly neighborhood commish.


Good luck in Week 10!



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