Welcome to some sweet Election Day distraction! There were a lot of boom-or-bust performances throughout the league this week. We had a stunning comeback and explosion of culinary flavor. Let’s cover the action of Week 8.
WEEK 8 RECAPS
Too Many Cooks (6-2) def. When Does Hockey Start (2-6)
179.84 - 130.64
The king has returned. Dalvin Cook earned his Iron Chef status with a league-leading 48.6 point performance that propelled Too Many Cooks to their 6th win and the top score of Week 8. In a boom-or-bust week, TMC was nearly all boom. They needed most of them too since for the first time in a few weeks we had the top two scores of the week facing off against each other. When Does Hockey Start rode their Mahomes-Kelce wombo-combo to a very respectable 130 points. It’s just a shame it had to happen this week. It’s a tough beat for WILD, who have lost 4 straight after righting the ship at 2-2. In an interesting twist, although this matchup featured the top two scores it also featured the greatest point differential with a nearly 50 point spread. That just goes to show how much heat was in the kitchen this week. Even Jared Cook posted 16 TE points from the bench.
Outdated Sheets (4-4) def. Team Grimm (5-3)
107.46 - 84.12
Outdated Sheets beat Team Grimm this week. If that sounds nondescript, it’s not because this matchup was boring; it’s because it was chaos. I cannot figure out a cohesive storyline for the life of me. In response, I’ll perform the journalist equivalent of a check-down and go to a bulleted list of the oddities:
SHTS top scores came from LA Rams Robert Woods and Cooper Kupp in a game where the Rams got embarrassed by Miami and their rookie QB. Woods and Kupp generated 50 points. The ENTIRE Dolphins team generated 70 in total.
SHTS Jimmy Graham, the low-key 5th ranked TE, pooted out with 3.3 points, but it didn’t matter.
After being downgraded from questionable to doubtful on Friday, Allen Robinson ended up clearing concussion protocol on Saturday and playing on Sunday. He put up 20 points from the bench. There would have been a juicy amount of irony if SHTS lost by <20, but nope, it didn’t matter.
GRIM FLEX Travis Fulgham, a recent waiver wire pickup, boomed this week with 19 points, but it didn’t matter.
SHTS QB Josh Allen posted his year low in points. Didn’t matter.
Carson Wentz, the GRIM QB I would have chosen from the waiver wire, did worse than Allen. That did matter.
In Week 1, GRIM beat SHTS with the 7th place score (“That’s playing to win, baby!”). In the rematch, SHTS beats GRIM with the 6th place score.
Now, the best part about that chaos is that the result actually matters. Had it gone the other way, GRIM joins the other 6-2 teams in Asgard, looking down at the mortals slaughtering each other for the 4th seed. Instead, SHTS is tied for 4th at 4-4, and GRIM isn’t clear with just one game separating them from the plebs. There is, however, a secret weapon for GRIM. Christian McCaffrey will return. If not this week, then soon. All fear Run CMC.
Knobby Packers (6-2) def. Respect the Specks (2-6)
118.14 - 94.16
Knobby Packers takes care of business and keeps pace for 1st place with a win over Respect The Specks. They got solid performances by usual suspects Aaron Rodgers and Alvin Kamara with a little extra push by the Colts D/ST. KNOB’s victory was slightly soured by the news that they lost TE George Kittle for likely the rest of the after he broke a bone in his foot. Without the services of Mr. Skittles, owner Alex St. Peter will be forced to sift through the weekly TE waiver wire with the rest of the peasants.
For GOGS, it was a classic case of bench burn. The starting WRs were far eclipsed by the bench WR’s. Two out of three busted vs. two out of three booms on the bench. It’s hard to question owner Nathan Hart’s choices (except for maybe A.J. Green), Hardman, Aiyuk and Claypool aren’t exactly proven commodities. On the other hand, looking over GOGS roster, their most consistent performer is Kenny Blankenship, and he only mustered 3 points this week so… the sky is falling.
(Fun Fact: In my research I discovered that Calvin Ridley was the No. 1 ranked WR going into Week 8. Raise your hand if you knew that. Now put it down, you liar.)
3 Pete (3-5) def. Hostert With The Mostert (4-4)
116.42 - 112.18
This matchup in a single GIF:
3 Pete pulls off an improbable comeback against Hostert With The Mostert. 3P went into the Sunday afternoon games with less than 50 points and just three players to go. Turns out it was the right three. DK Metcalf, Justin Herbert, and Noah Fant Combined for 73 points (40 by Metcalf) and overtook HOST at the finish line. This win was clutch from a postseason standpoint, as it brings 3P to within 1 game of HOST and SHTS for the 4th seed in the winner’s bracket
With 8 players out to injuries or byes, HOST knew going in that they would only go as far as Davante Adams would take them. Turns out that was pretty far, as Adams went off for 30 against the graveyard of the Viking’s CB corps. It was just not enough to overcome DK’s re-raise and one key FA letdown. HOST will get their regulars back, and they’ll need them next week against a division-leading Too Many Cooks squad who is at full strength and full steam.
With the recaps complete, it’s time for “football-and-sometimes-investing’s” favorite game show:
This wasn’t a week with a clear-cut winner. 7 weeks worth of cautionary tales and quasi-public admonishment through this column has led to generally well-informed play from league owners. Luckily for the meme bloggers such as me, there are no shortage of classic fantasy pitfalls that are capable of filling the universal Oof Meter. This week it’s bench burn. Respect the Specks receives the Oof of the Week. This week is certainly more defensible than their Week 2. 87.92 bench vs. 94.16 starters always sucks, but they would have needed two substitutions of capable starters to make an impact. I always thought it would be SHTS owner Zach Pauras that got the first repeat OOTW, but wear it proudly GOGS.
Finally, if you’ll be so kind, I’m going to take a new segment for a spin and see how it goes. Since this meme was getting a boat-load of tread in the channel anyway, I introduce to you:
This is about as straightforward as it sounds. Here I’ll highlight one or more players that didn’t show up or otherwise broke the balls of their owner. This week that honor goes to HOST FLEX Dionte Johnson: 1 catch, 6 yards, 1.6 points. Yes, it was a tough matchup. Yes, he’s had similar outputs this year. However, those other duds were due to early injuries. Johnson played the whole game on Sunday and the most impactful thing he did was start a fight with Marcus Peters. HOST didn’t need much. A paltry 6 point showing would have been enough, but alas. Maybe owner Evan Wilberg should have asked the Harts how they felt about their Dionte Johnson experience before plugging him in.
Honorable mention goes to Team Grimm WR Amari Cooper, whose fantasy season is about on par with Dallas’ real season. Flashes of highs, but some really low lows.
WEEK 9 PREVIEW
Hostert With The Mostert (4-4) vs. Too Many Cooks (6-2)
When Does Hockey Start (2-6) vs. 3 Pete (3-5)
Team Grimm (5-3) vs. Knobby Packers (6-2)
Respect the Specks (2-6) vs. Outdated Sheets (4-4)
League News
Nothing really new. I’ll actually remember to do the Covid contingency players this week, sorry about that. Same with the contingency payouts. If there’s one thing 2020 loves, it’s a good contingency plan.
Best of luck in Week 9!
aspooklyalookydookiedo
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