(Further reminder that Blankenships always provide fantastic entertainment)
Week 10 brought us our first clinch and our first elimination. Which teams have gone the way of Justin Jefferson, solidifying themselves as long term players, and which have gone the way of Pat Elflein or Luke Kunin Wild jerseys? Let’s find out:
WEEK 10 RECAPS
Too Many Cooks (8-2) def. 3 Pete (4-6)
105.72 - 100.48
It went down to the wire, but Too Many Cooks prevailed over 3 Pete, securing their 8th win and the first team in the LTML to secure a playoff berth. All memes were on hand Monday night to see if Dalvin Cook could keep his meatball brigade rolling against a highly competent Chicago defense. The rest of TMC had been held to a simmer last week in comparison to their usual numbers, and 3 Pete entered MNF with a 10 point cushion. Dalvin was projected to easily eclipse the 10-point margin, but in reality that was only half-true. Were it not for an injury to Aikeem Hicks, Dalvin may very well have not made his mark, but alas for 3 Pete the Hashmark Slinging Slasher found a way and carried TMC to a narrow victory. Interestingly, this was the first week TMC owner Aaron Preese deployed a 2-Cook package, starting Brandin Cooks after several sterling performances on the bench. The kitchen proved to be just a bit too hot for Cooks though, as he only mustard 9.9 points. Preese hinted at potential tough decisions regarding his roster, specifically the sous Cooks, as their production has been waning as of late. If he decides to temp the fantasy gods again after the results of his last attempt, I will have the popcorn ready.
For 3 Pete, this matchup was the 4th straight that was decided by 5 or fewer points. They have gone 2-2 in this stretch, and if owner Kevin Duong has not passed away from a stroke by this point he has probably experienced every possible fantasy football emotion. This week, he was on the losing end of the Carolina WR game of musical chairs, helpless as DJ Moore tripled up Robbie Anderson from the bench. Then he lost the DK Metcalf coin flip, as the mammoth WR busted for less than 5 points. Then it looked like the matchup might be salvaged by D’Andre Hopkins’ incredible hail mary catch. Finally, with just minutes left in the Monday Night game, Dalvin Cook banged his head against the brick wall of the CHI D/ST long enough to finally break through. The next stop for 3 Pete on the LTML roller coaster is against the SHTS, in a matchup that has make-or-break implications for the playoffs.
Hostert With The Mostert (5-5) def. When Does Hockey Start (2-8)
162.1 - 93.78
Hostert With The Mostert secures an emphatic, and much needed victory over When Does Hockey Start to get back to .500 and 4th place. They got great-to-excellent scores up and down the roster, riding that and the animated corpse of Jimmy Graham to the top score of the week. Josh Jacobs return to Week 1 form and the growing legend of Kyler Murray were the standouts.
WILD becomes the league’s first elimination with their 6th straight loss. Little has gone right for them since Week 4 when they righted their ship at 2-2 (the benching of Tyler Lockett’s 50 points stands out among other instances of bad luck). This week the reliable Mahomes-Kelce wombo combo was on bye, and the Titan-heavy replacements failed to hold a candle to that missing flame. The WILD points leader was the kicker Ryan Succop, which kinda tells you everything you need to know. It remains to be seen if owner Dan Bell will keep giving attention to his ownership duties after his team’s elimination, or if he will dive headlong into his efforts to lobby the state of Minnesota into funding his state-of-the-art indoor frisbee complex known as the “Belldome”.
Knobby Packers (7-3) def. Outdated Sheets (5-5)
161.7 - 96.26
Knobby Packers rides a quartet of excellent performances en route to a comfortable win over Outdated Sheets. Rookie D’Andre Swift joins the usual suspects of Rodgers, Kamara, and Diggs as each dropped performances of 25 or more. That alone would be enough to clear SHTS total and make up for one or two duds elsewhere. Not much to say about KNOB except they’re really fucking good and they did all this damage despite giving Adam Theilen the week off to make off-site dental sales. On their horizon looms Too Many Cooks. It’s a blockbuster matchup that will likely determine who will start the playoffs as the #1 seed.
Going into the week, Outdated Sheets lamented having too many WR1’s the way some memes lament having too many limes. That ended up not being such an issue, as all four ended up turning into lemons on Sunday (*bows* Thank you, thank you! Yes, please put that Pulitzer over there with the others.) Not even Josh Allen’s hefty appendage could overcome the lack of WR production and a Titans game where Derrick Henry looked more mortal than he actually is. SHTS and HOST are now tied up at 5-5 and vying for the 4th seed, but SHTS must first deal with the next closest threat in 3 Pete next week.
Respect the Specs (3-7) def. Team Grimm (6-4)
146.96 - 84.22
Respect The Specs rumbles to life with a commanding victory over Team Grimm. After weeks of mediocre production, GOGS gave their lineup a thorough shake-up and it paid off. Rookie receivers Chase Claypool and Justin Jefferson were explosive, and led the team with 20+ point efforts. The most crucial addition this week was the return of RB1 and former dawg Nick Chubb. In a roster full of dangerous yet inconsistent talent, Chubb ought to ratchet up the floor or GOGS production. Rodrigo Blankenship also cleared 10 points for the first games since week 5, ensuring the specs were indeed respected this week.
Team Grimm got the news pretty early on this week that Christian McCaffrey would not be available to build on his triumphant return, and the effects were surely felt around the GRIM facility during practice this week. Marvin Jones Jr. was nonplussed but the rest of the team performed without any wind in their sales. Between byes and injuries, GRIM was forced to trot out the likes of Duke Johnson in a mulligan of a matchup. The dilemmas of owner Jared Grimm and his depleted roster have been covered previously (and will be covered again, surely), but at least his lead in the standings allowed him to take the L without falling too far. They’ll have to dig deep and hold fast against playoff challenger HOST next week.
For this week, it would be more accurate to call this the ‘Oof of the Year’. Not for any singular blunder, but a drawn-out, recurring series of oofs that have plagued one team disproportionately throughout the year. I am, of course, referring to the squad formerly known as Team Grimm. Christian McCaffrey’s 2nd stint on the injured list is just the latest bullet point on an extensive list of injuries. It is well-known that injuries are a part of fantasy football and all sports. It’s a random menace that all owners and decision makers have to deal with over the course of a year. What makes owner Jared Grimm’s situation special in its misery is the caliber of the player that has been lost. He summed it up himself in the discord channel this week:
3 weeks out of (1st overall pick) CMC
3 out of (2nd round pick) Austin Ekeler
4th round WR (Courtland Sutton) died after one game
5th round WR (Amari Cooper) lost his QB
Said QB (Dak Prescott), was drafted in the 9th round and died
In light of this, Team Grimm has renamed themselves as “Hospital for Injured RBs” We shall see if the Fantasy gods hear this plea, or if they simply turn their cold, unfeeling gaze to the WR’s or poor Will Lutz. That’s enough for the Oof of the Week.
WEEK 11 PREVIEWS
Knobby Packers (7-3) vs. Too Many Cooks (8-2) *POGGERS!!!*
Respect the Specks (3-7) vs. When Does Hockey Start (2-8)
Hospital for Injured RBs (6-4) vs. Hostert with the Mostert (5-5)
Outdated Sheets (5-5) vs. 3 Pete (4-6)
League News
The payout contingency proposed last week has passed. Thanks for voting, dudes!
That’ll be all for this week. Best of luck in Week 11!
fizzzzzzzzy pop
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