You knew it’d come down to this, didn’t you? This week, we had a WR of mass destruction, said goodbye to the champs and thickened the plot significantly. Let’s go. In and out. 5 minute recap:
WEEK 12 RECAPS
Respect The Specks (4-8) def. Hostert with the Mostert (6-6)
136.92 - 121.8
Respect The Specks steps up and stiff-arms HOST’s playoff push with a robust showing. No Lamar Jackson? No problem! Just plug last week’s TE Taysom Hill in at QB and you’re all set. With 2 rushing TD’s Hill did a better Kyler Murray impression this week than Kyler Murray. Nick Chubb and Jet Jefferson dropped a couple quarters to round out the nut-punching. Murray and RB1 Josh Jacobs picked a pretty bad time to turn into pumpkins, wasting a spectacular 36-point Thanksgiving showing by Antonio Gibson. Not even the return of RB/Mascot Raheem Mostert could push the Hosterts over the edge.
Hospital for Injured RBs (7-5) def. 3 Pete (4-8)
118.86 - 113.84
“I survived DK Metcalf 2020” - Jared Grimm, RBIR owner.
He almost did it again. DK’s hard charge on Sunday night briefly gave 3 Pete the lead despite a 19 point defecit. It came down to Eric Ebron to save RBIR on Monday, then Tuesday, then eventually Wednesday afternoon. Fortunately, Ebron delivered and prevented the Doomsday Oof scenario (“Doofsday”?) from taking place for Grimm’s beleaguered squad. Although RBIR faces a hard challenge in their opponents this week, they will do so with the services of Austin Ekeler, who displayed his readiness in a 24 point performance from the bench. This loss also checks 3 Pete into the elimination station. Respect to owner Kevin Duong for a hell of a run.
Too Many Cooks (10-2) def. Outdated Sheets (6-6)
149.2 - 122.28
Allen. Henry. Robinson. Woods. Long ago the 4 SHTS playmakers lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when Tyreek Hill attacked. Only Michael Thomas, master of the last 4 fantasy seasons could stop him. But when Outdated Sheets needed him most, he vanished.
One week passed, and Zach discovered a new playmaker, a running back named Wayne Gallman. Though his End-Zone finding skills are great, he has a lot of running to do before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe… Gallman can save the SHTS.
Knobby Packers (8-4) def. When Does Hockey Start (3-9)
151.92 - 115.48
It was a Thanksgiving Feast for the Knobby packers. Alex St. Peter opted for a double-serving of Texans in his Week 12 lineup. The result was a 85 point posting on Thursday that pretty much allowed him to go into a food-coma for the rest of the weekend. The win was one of a few things that officially punched KNOB’s ticket to the championship bracket, however it was not without a little bit of controversy. Will Fuller’s 35 point performance ended up being his swan song for the 2020 season, as he was suspended after the game. Naturally, this caused some to speculate after what St. Peter really puts in all that cheese. Fortunately for KNOB, the commissioner’s office said in a statement that their investigative budget was already spent attempting to figure out the minimum number of bites needed to consume a Chipotle Burrito*.
*Their answer was 5, with proper stretching and meditation. 6 without.
PLAYOFF PICTURE
Too Many Cooks (10-2)*
Knobby Packers (8-4)*
Hospital for Injured RBs (7-5)
Hostert With The Mostert (6-6)
__________________________
Outdated Sheets (6-6)
3 Pete (4-8)e
Respect The Specks (4-8)e
When Does Hockey Start (3-9)e
*-Clinched WB spot
e-Eliminated from WB contention
The Final Showdown
And so it will come down to Week 13 to see which two teams finish the final two playoff slots and who is left doing the ol’ Javert-at-the-window meme. The big winner of Week 12 was Hospital for Injured RB’s. As the only team in the melee to win their match, more things would need to happen to keep them out than to let them in. Just like last week, we’ll go team by team:
Hospital For Injured RB’s -
RBIR advances if:
-OR-
-OR-
Holding off DK Metcalf turned out to be absolutely clutch for RBIR. They face what no team has faced so far this year in a triple-Cook Package from Too Many Cooks, but there is far less pressure for them to come out on top than there would have been had they lost in Week 12. I was mistaken last week when I reported Christian McCaffrey’s availability for Week 13. Even though he may be healthy enough to play, his team is on the bye. That said, with Austin Ekeler fully recovered and James Robinson quietly continuing his Top-5 year, they’re more than capable of straight up winning the damn thing. Should they win, they will secure the 3rd seed and ensure they don’t meet TMC again until perhaps the final week. This week we’ll see if too many cooks really do spoil the broth.
Hostert With The Mostert
HOST advances if:
-OR-
Had HOST taken care of business last week, the only thing left to decide for them this week would be their first round opponent. Instead, they face very real danger against the 2nd best team in the league with the Knobby Packers . Both teams are dealing with some unexpected gaps in their lineups with plenty at stake. HOST was able to hand KNOB one of their 4 losses back in Week 6, but that week featured the Aaron Rodgers impersonator and did not feature league-leading RB Alvin Kamara. KNOB is out Will Fuller but still rocks Diggs and Theilen. HOST gains Raheem Mostert but loses Josh Jacobs, and might be banking on another boom by Antonio Gibson, who was drafted by KNOB. Both teams are out their top end TE’s. If HOST wins, they’re in, if KNOB wins, not only do they get revenge for Week 6, but they have a chance to eliminate the 3rd highest scoring team in the league before the playoffs even begin. Overall, This matchup with KNOB has the potential to be the LTML equivalent of the fight between The Hound and Brienne of Tarth at the end of Game of Thrones Season 4 (remember those days?).
When asked about his plans for Sunday, HOST owner Evan Wilberg said he would, “pour myself a tall drink, and light a candle for the WILD wombo combo.”
Outdated Sheets
SHTS advances if:
-OR-
Welp. The bad news, obviously, is that Tyreek Hill did very mean things to your team last week. The good news is that this was the matchup you probably figured it would come down to anyway, and you’re well set up for it. SHTS projects for the 2nd highest score this week, and plays against the 8th place team in the league. And yet... Despite having just 3 wins, WILD has actually scored the 4th most points over the course of the season, and that’s not counting the Lockett in your Pocket game. Mahomes has a chance to terrorize the SHTS for the 2nd straight week, this time directly and with regular partner-in-crime Travis Kelce. Will this be the week Michael Thomas finally steps out of the telephone booth donning his Superman costume and saves the day? If so, all you need is the Knobby bros to do you a solid and you’ve made the dance.
Lastly, I will admit, it’s super unlikely but it would tickle the hell out of me if that second scenario plays out but RBIR catches SHTS in the tiebreaker. That would mean the difference came down to the Le’Veon Bell IR debacle, and the week SHTS started 3 injured players.
Now you know what to watch for. Best of luck to all involved. It’s nice to have things come down to the wire.
Ah, lest we forget:
Boy were there an awful lot of gigantic Oofs that nearly happened this week with the COVID delays and late DK shenanigans. That isn’t to say there weren’t good ones that did end up playing out. This week I’m doing an honorable mention along with the full OOTW. Both are of the aforementioned losers on the playoff bubble, one who suffered a long, drawn out demise last week, the other who suffered what was more of an assassination:
Honorable mention goes to HOST owner Evan Wilberg, who sat full and satisfied on his parent’s couch on Thanksgiving night, full of turkey and mashed potatoes. On the TV, he watched his RB, Antonio Gibson complete his own turkey, scoring his 3rd rushing TD of the night, a rookie record, on the way to a booming 36 points. He and Terry McLaurin combined for over 50, and his opponent’s RB2 J.D. McCissik only managed 5. That setup had him comfortably set up, going into the weekend as a 40 point projected winner, some 150 - 110. A key late-season victory was in his grasp. Unfortunately for him, that plan got flip-turned upside down. Slowly, over the course of Sunday, his lead shrank and GOGS projection rose. It was a slow, drawn out affair, I’m sure many fantasy owners are familiar with. Soon the lead turned into a deficit with a projected victory, then finally the projection caught up with reality. HOST turned a projected win by 40 into a loss by 15. There comes a point, on Sundays like that, where an owner just has to realize what is happening and put his phone down for good. Wilberg learned that lesson the hard way on Sunday. That 55 point swing earns an honorable mention this week.
Speaking of 55 point swings…
Meet Tyreek Hill. Last week he murdered the hopes and dreams of Outdated Sheets fans everywhere with a 57.9(!) point performance. That was so clearly the new high score of LTML that I didn’t need to check. What I did try to check was if that was the new high score of fantasy period. According to ESPN, that was the most PPR points scored by a skilled player since Jamaal Charles in 2013. The truly savage part about it happening against SHTS this week, is it kinda mattered. If you downgraded Hill’s performance from a god-like 57.9 points to a merely outstanding 30, SHTS would have won the contest, but nah: If there’s one thing Too Many Cooks needed, it was another lethal weapon. That’s enough for the Oof of the Week.
WEEK 13 PREVIEWS
Respect the Specks (4-8) vs. 3 Pete (4-8)
Outdated Sheets (6-6) vs. When Does Hockey Start (3-9)
Hospital for Wounded RB’s (7-5) vs. Too Many Cooks (10-2)
Knobby Packers (8-4) vs. Hostert with the Mostert (6-6)
League News
Cheers to an exciting regular season, and thanks for continuing to read this nonsense! Once the bracket is set, I’ll reach out to the consolation bracket to see if we want to set up a side-pot. Of course, feel free to bet amongst yourselves to keep it interesting.
Best of luck in Week 13.
